Understanding Happiness: Choice, Brain Chemistry, and Mindset
While happiness is not strictly a chemical reaction, it is influenced by the release of specific brain chemicals, called neurotransmitters, such as those explained in this video:
https://youtu.be/FHNP4oPiAPE?si=bci8yNw0kUdG1Taf
From a therapeutic perspective, happiness largely comes down to a personal choice. It depends on our outlook on life and how we respond to life’s experiences and challenges.
That choice can be influenced by factors such as relationships and attachments that we value deeply. In certain situations, our happiness may involve some negotiation, balancing what we need with what we hold dear. It also depends on how we respond to setbacks, the emotional importance we give them, and how we navigate our personal journey forward.
For example, I have known people who deeply valued someone in their lives. If that relationship ended, they grieved but also believed that life must go on. Once they accepted that reconciliation was impossible, they looked forward to new beginnings. That positive outlook often attracts friends, partners, and fulfilling experiences.
Contrast this with someone whose whole world revolves around another person. If that relationship fails, they may sink into despair and lose hope and self-worth. I observed this during my childhood. Sadly, some never recovered and spent much of their lives dwelling on the past and feeling unhappy.
Most people fall somewhere in between optimism and pessimism. Our social and environmental conditioning plays a role, but it does not have to define us.
We can choose to create our own luck, success, and happiness. Trust is key. Trust your internal compass and intuition, remain flexible, and be open to adjusting your course as needed. People with a positive outlook tend to enjoy life more, feel confident, and have a strong sense of self-worth.
Happiness is a choice, and our choices influence brain chemistry, which in turn affects our mood. Everything we do, think, say, and feel triggers chemical responses in our bodies. This is a symbiotic relationship where the brain sends and receives signals that regulate mood and balance. While we cannot control everything, our personal outlook plays a significant role.
When we are positive, confident, and resilient, we feel a sense of well-being that stimulates the release of beneficial brain chemicals. This creates a reinforcing loop where attitude and thoughts promote positive chemical responses.
Conversely, persistent negative thinking, anger, fear, blame, resentment, or depressive patterns increase stress hormones such as cortisol. Long-term high cortisol levels can negatively affect both mental and physical health. Research shows that prolonged stress accelerates ageing and may shorten life expectancy.
The book The Eternal Optimist: It’s Never Too Late by Matt Drinkhahn explores how to face change and thrive despite setbacks. It tells the story of Patrick, a man whose plans were disrupted by unexpected challenges. The book is full of lessons about acknowledging mistakes, moving forward, and developing optimism and resilience. It is a roadmap for navigating life while embracing change.
Eternal optimism is the belief that good things can happen despite difficulties. It is a resilient and hopeful mindset focused on positive possibilities.
Another useful book is Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by William Ury, Roger Fisher, and Bruce Patton (Penguin, 3rd edition, 2011). This book introduces the principles of mutual-gains negotiation and shows how cooperation can create positive outcomes in complex situations.
Our happiness does not happen by accident. For those naturally inclined toward pessimism, it takes effort to change our subconscious mindset. Awareness of our thoughts, choices, and beliefs is essential. Repeatedly choosing positive responses is like training a muscle or guiding a plant to grow in a particular way. Over time, this becomes natural.
Our thoughts become feelings, and our feelings shape our reality. Ultimately, happiness is a choice we make every day.
Trevor Wales, Retired Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist