No roadmap for baby loss

These days it is relatively rare for a baby to die in our society than it was in the past, so we often have no ‘roadmap’ for how to live with this loss. This also means our friends and family will have less experience available to be able to understand how the death of a baby impacts us and may not always respond in helpful ways. When the death is sudden and unexpected this can also add a trauma element to the grief.

Meaningful support following traumatic events can lessen the ongoing impacts of trauma. It can be invaluable for bereaved families to have support from outside of their immediate circle where they can express themselves freely with someone who gets what they are going through without feeling they must protect them from the depths of their grief.

The Lullaby Trust supports any adult after the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or very young child, this includes parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and adult siblings.

People to help

We have trained befrienders who are themselves bereaved family members, some years on from their own bereavement who can provide ongoing one-to-one support by phone or email. It can be a source of encouragement when feeling lost in the early period of bereavement to have support from someone who has found a way to live their life alongside remembering their child who died. Many of our befrienders also have experience of pregnancy and parenting after loss.  

We are a small group of three on the support team, so we get to know our families well, so people won’t need to explain their story each time unless this is helpful for them to do so.

There is no time limit for our support, and we know that it can be comforting for families to reach on difficult days, special days and anniversaries. It is also the unexpected days that others may not think of which can be a challenge, such as the September your baby would have started school or feeling sad seeing children at Halloween, wondering what your child might have dressed up as.

We  know that in the early days of grief we do not take in information given to us so well, so families can often forget who they have contacted for support or how to get in touch so we also send out  an email  to newly bereaved families from time to time, to let them know that we are thinking of them and to remind them that our offer of support is ongoing.

Free ongoing support

Our free support helpline 0808 802 6868 is open 365 days a year, Monday to Friday 10am to 2pm and answered by befrienders at the weekend and Bank Holidays 6-10pm. We can be reached by email in office hours at support@lullabytrust.org.uk

We have Facebook peer support groups for bereaved families and separate groups for bereaved grandparents and for those pregnant after loss

All our Bereavement resources are available to download free of charge.